oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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