She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
