I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
