dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
