Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
