She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
