it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
