and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
