He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize