It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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