Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I love you.
Bad choice
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