My hand turned me down
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
It's just like the Real World with babies
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
