Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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