The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
