im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
