so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
