kristin has been a bad kristin
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
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