Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
