It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Everyone says I win the strip club
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Randomize
