Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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