If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
and she was petting her beer can
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
