Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
