Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
zippers are such a cool invention
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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