Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Do you still have your period?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
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