We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
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