farters have to be the big spoon...
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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