Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
