ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize