I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize