I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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