I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
