Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
how does that bad decision feel?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
