And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
FUCK WHALES
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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