Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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