Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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