Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize