I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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