Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
