He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
