I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
