She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
