been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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