they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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