Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
