i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
