Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
