i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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