I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Hippo gnu deer
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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