I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
