I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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