ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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