TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
