YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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