how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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