I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
